Kelly与你谈谈湛江二模的写作

2023湛江二模

——by Kelly

应用文:英语演讲比赛

第一节: 

假定你是李华,请给你校外教Anna写一封邮件,邀请她主持下个月的英语演讲比赛,内容包括:

1.比赛的地点、时间等;2.她需要做的事。

注意:

1.写作词数应为80左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Dear Anna,

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yours,

Li Hua

 作者:Kelly梁向群     

审稿:Britney 何海艳 &Monica黄晓婷

Dear Anna,

I hope this email finds you well. On behalf of the Student Union, I would like to invite you to be the hostess( 也许女权意识盛行的当下,用host更受欢迎?)of the upcoming English Speech Contest.

Our school auditorium will witness this event, which is scheduled for (is to take place at)7:30 pm, May 12th. It’s your beautiful English with its charming London accent that makes you stand out as our first choice. On top of that, your elegance, wisdom, humour, adaptability(有审稿老师建议换成popularity, 但我觉得adaptability 是指主持人必备的应变能力,就保留了该词) and more importantly your unique experience of teaching English in China all combine to be an irreplaceable plus. If you kindly accept our invitation, we would like you to give an opening speech and a closing one besides introducing the judges and contestants ( competitors), explaining the rules, helping keep the activity running smoothly, announcing and awarding the winners.

Thank you for considering our invitation. We are always ready to provide further details or assistance if needed. Your participation will definitely be the most valuable addition to the contest. Looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.

Yours,

Li Hua

作者的话

如写作空间受限,第二段夸奖Anna的文字可酌情删减,但那部分恰恰是用心用情写作的体现,希望同学们可以深刻体悟什么叫读者意识。多年来应用文的写作空间都是约定俗成的14行,这次湛江二模的答题卡只给了9行,突如其来的反常规提醒考生要随机应变。结合Kelly陪你写过的2022年全国I卷应用文: 邀请外教参加校园访谈广播节目,再总结邀请信的窍门。中国情怀、国际视野、跨文化沟通能力不仅是印在课标里的口号,更是体现在书面表达的细枝末节里。本次阅卷发现不少同学直接借用了Kelly以前邀请信写过的句子,不禁会心一笑。)

2022年全国I卷应用文

第四部分 写作(共两节,满分 40 分)第一节 (满分15分)

假定你是校广播站英语节目“Talk and Talk”负责人李华,请给外教Caroline写邮件邀请她做一次访谈。内容包括:

1.节目介绍;

2.访谈的时间和话题。

注意:

1.写作词数应为80左右;

2.如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Dear Caroline,

Yours sincerely, Li Hua

作者:广东省湛江第一中学梁向群

Kelly Liang   审稿:何海艳、潘茵茵

Dear Caroline,

I’m Li Hua, the student in charge of the English channel“ Talk and Talk” of our school broadcasting station. It’s such an honor for me, on behalf of our team , to invite you to be a special guest in an interview of our programme.

“Talk and Talk”, an English learning platform and eye-opener, has been appealing to a large audience on campus for a decade. A special feature on “how to efficiently improve our listening and speaking skills in English” is scheduled to be on air from 5:30pm to 6:30pm next Friday ( June 17). Students will be invited to share their experience as well as confusion in this feature, where your professional guidance from a foreign teacher’s perspective will be a valuable addition.

 No one else can be a better choice than you, for your name alone will be the best advertisement for our programme. Looking forward to your positive reply and further discussion at your earliest convenience. Thank you in advance. Best wishes.

Yours sincerely

Li Hua

读后续写

第二节 

阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整短文。

One New Year's morning, as we came down to breakfast, with very shiny faces and spendy aprons(围裙),we surprisingly found father alone in the dining room.

“Happy New Year, Papa! Where is Mother?”we cried.

“A little boy came begging and said they were starving at home, so your mother went to see and——ah,here she is.”

As Papa spoke, in came Mamma, looking very cold, rather sad, and very much excited. “Not far away from here,lies a poor woman with a little newborn baby. Six children are huddled(挤在一起)into one bed to keep from freezing,for they have no fire. There is nothing to eat over there, and the oldest boy came here to tell me they were starving on this bitterly cold day. My little girls, will you give them your breakfast, as a New Year's gift?”

We sat silent a minute and looked at the nice, hot porridge(粥),creamy milk,and good bread and butter; for we were brought up like English children,and never drank tea or coffee, or ate anything but porridge for our breakfast.

“I wish we'd eaten it up,” thought I, for I was rather a selfish child, and very hungry.

“May I go and help carry it to the poor, little children?” asked Beth, who had the tenderest heart that ever beat under a spendy apron.

“I can carry that little pot,” said little May, proudly giving the thing she loved best.

“And I shall take all the porridge,” I burst in, heartily ashamed of my first feeling.

“You shall put on your things and help me, and when we come back, we'll get something to eat,”said Mother, beginning to pile the bread and butter into a big basket.

注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

We were soon ready and set out.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As we made our way back home, I felt a sense of warmth in my heart. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(读后续写)

送温饱才是最好的新年礼物

作者:Kelly梁向群   

 审稿:Britney何海艳& Monica黄晓婷

We were soon ready and set out. Along the way, I struggled to resist the temptation of delicious food as the bitter coldness added to my hunger. Upon arriving, we were greeted by a dark, humid and shabby room with broken windows, a weathered mother with a wailing baby in her arms and a group of ragged children disfigured by malnutrition. No trace of sorrow or sadness could be found in their faces, just the deep pain of starvation and coldness. With trembling hands, the mother distributed the food we brought and searched for words to express her gratitude, calling us “angels”. Within minutes, all the food was devoured. It was then that I realized what I had experienced earlier couldn't be called "hunger".

As we made our way back home, I felt a sense of warmth in my heart. This warmth fueled my eagerness to help those in need even more. I suggested providing them with clothes and blankets while my siblings proposed raising funds for them. With my parents' support, we couldn’t wait to take action to further help at once. In my excitement, I forgot all about my own breakfast until my growling stomach reminded me to eat. Gazing at the dancing snow outside our windows, I felt incredibly blessed to have such a happy family and a cozy home. What I had taken for granted might be luxuries others could only dream of. Savoring the joy of helping others was the best New Year's gift I could have received.  

作者的话

本篇属于最老生常谈的续写题材-------助人为乐。阅卷心得:主题都被同学们拿捏得很准,情节绝大多数都合理,但会出现对主题无贡献的细节或赘述,也有部分文章出现表情和心情描写过度夸张和不贴切的情况,这是囫囵吞枣式脱离语境的死记硬背造成的后果。结合Kelly 陪你写过的The cup of coffee(2 versions),再细品助人类续写的异同点。)

2022年高三11月联考题读后续写

Kelly老师尝试就不同角度写了两个版本,如果到这里,你还在认真阅读,我会非常感动。

阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。

The Cup of Coffee

It was supposed to be a normal trip to the supermarket. My son was little, and it was getting close to time to have a little sleep, so I was rushing through the aisles(走道)trying to avoid a failure. Using the car remote control, I opened the car door I felt a sense of achievement as I got him into the car without any tears.Then I wanted to start the car but found my keys were gone. After a few minutes of checking around, I realized that I must have locked them in the trunk with my bag.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I took my son out of his car seat and went back inside the store with my cart still full of groceries. I had to use their phones to call my husband for the spare key because my phone was in the bag I had locked in the trunk. After multiple calls and messages with no answer, I was getting discouraged. My son was tired and began to cry. I was tired because of a sleepless night that all mums go through-when their kids are teething. When he went into full-on crying, I felt the tears come down my face too.

An employee at the store tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to come with her. I was panicked for a moment, thinking that I was going to be scolded and thrown into the storage area to keep us quiet. The employee, whose name I would later find out was Kelly took me, to my surprise, to the Starbucks café that was inside the store. She asked me if I drank coffee. When I said yes, she walked over to the counter and came back with one for me. She said that it looked like I was having one of those days and that, as a mum, she had them too. I told her how stupid I felt locking my keys in the car and she assured me it happened to a lot of people. As we talked, my son settled into a sound sleep in my arms.

1. 续写词数应为150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Kelly’s Version 1

审稿:陈彩红、何海艳

After about fifteen minutes, she said her break was over. Before leaving, she left her phone for me to contact my husband, even suggesting Plans B and C. She offered to either send for a repair man to unlock the trunk or drive us home after work if necessary. She patted me on the shoulder again, asking me to calm down in the cafe and take it as a nice escape from daily chores. Awkwardly thanking Kelly, I leisurely savored the cup of coffee, the first slight bitterness in the mouth giving way to enduring sweetness and warmth deep down inside. I was still enjoying the idle moments with my son sleeping in my arms when my husband finally called back. 

After I got home that day, I kept thinking about what Kelly had done for me. The lingering aroma of the cup of coffee put me in her shoes. How could she, also as a mum, handle so many things in such a calm, considerate and helpful way? I was lost in deep reflection. “ Life is 10 % what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.” -----I had heard of it before but truly learned this lesson from Kelly. We shared the 10% in common and it was the 90% that we were different from each other. Later, each time I gratefully mentioned our first encounter to Kelly, who undoubtedly became my best friend ever since, she would jokingly reply, “ Just get the cup of coffee, for yourself and for anyone in need.”

Kelly’s Version 2

After about fifteen minutes, she said her break was over. Before leaving, she left her phone for me to contact my husband, even suggesting Plans B and C. She offered to either send for a repair man to unlock the trunk or drive us home after work if necessary. She patted me on the shoulder again, asking me to calm down in the cafe and take it as a nice escape from daily chores. Awkwardly thanking Kelly, I leisurely savored the cup of coffee, the first slight bitterness in the mouth giving way to enduring sweetness and warmth deep down inside. I was still enjoying the idle moments with my son sleeping in my arms when my husband finally called back. 

After I got home that day, I kept thinking about what Kelly had done for me. The soothing smile on her beautiful face and her consoling arms around my shoulders woven together with the lingering aroma of the cup of coffee always brought me back to the Starbucks café. Later on, no doubt, Kelly and I became best friends and she often shared with me her tips and tricks on parenting. Influenced by her, I was no longer hopeless and helpless. Much to my amazement, I found myself gradually become another “Kelly” -----independent, capable and more importantly, always ready to help anyone in need. Looking back, I was glad I had locked my keys in the car . What a blessing in disguise! What a cup of coffee! 

助人类主题升华句

1.Sometimes,a small act of kindness may be powerful enough to make a huge difference.

有时候一个小小的善行可能足以带来巨大的变化。

2.Sometimes small gesture of care will possibly melt people’s loneliness.

有时候一个表达关爱的小小举动也可能融化人们内心的孤单。

3.This kind act has a lasting influence on me. I always give others a helping hand if possible even so many years later.

这种善意的行为对我产生了持久的影响。即使多年以后,我总是尽可能地帮助别人。

4.From then on, Bernard made up his mind to help someone who needs help . Only in this way, could more and more people help each other in the future.

从那时起,伯纳德决定帮助需要帮助的人。只有这样,将来才能有越来越多的人互相帮助。

5.It is love that makes the world go around,which sb felt deep in one’s heart.

正是爱让世界转动,在某人的心里深深地感受到了这一点。

6.It dawned on me that a moment of kindness could mean so much to another, and that a simple act could make the world so much better.

我恍然大悟,那一刻的善良对另一个人来说意义重大,而一个简单的行为可以使世界变得如此美好。

7.Whether rich or poor, we should be happy to do something for society. Thus we can learn that giving is the source of happiness.

无论贫富,我们都应该为社会做点什么。因此,我们可以学会给予是幸福的源泉。


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